Partner choice: How the pill influences your “type” – what research says
Did I choose my partner just because of the pill? This is probably not a question you ask yourself very often. But here you can...
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Anne Alexander
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Did I choose my partner just because of the pill? This is probably not a question you ask yourself very often. But here you can find out why it can be useful to think about it. Because the pill not only affects ovulation, but also our choice of partner and even our type. Studies show that hormones can change attractiveness, sexual attraction, and relationships.
Key takeaways at a glance
- The pill can change your “type” – you often choose partners based on different criteria.
- Without the pill, sexual attraction tends to be stronger; with the pill, fidelity and security move into the foreground.
- After stopping the pill, often not only your body changes, but your relationship too.
Many side effects of the pill have long been known: weight gain, loss of libido, mood swings, thrombosis, depression and more. When the pill is stopped, a lot often returns to normal – not only in the body, but also in relationships. Research findings show: the pill can actually influence our choice of partner. When it is stopped, the dynamics in a relationship can change noticeably – sometimes even leading to separation.
Stopped taking the pill? Understand your cycle step by step:
With the pill, you smell and choose differently
Smell plays a central role in partner choice. It’s not for nothing that we say, “I can’t stand the way you smell” or “I can really smell you.” Normally, we are particularly attracted to men who are genetically quite different from us – which increases the chance of healthy children.
However, a study (Roberts 2008) shows: the pill changes women’s sense of smell. The reason lies in so-called HLA molecules, which shape our immune system and our body odor. While women without the pill instinctively tend to find genetically different men attractive, women on the pill more often feel drawn to partners who are genetically more similar. The consequences: potentially lower fertility, an increased risk of miscarriage, and longer intervals between pregnancies. In other words, the pill disrupts an ancient biological mechanism in partner choice.
What do the studies say about the impact of the birth control pill on partner choice?
Unfortunately, there is no clear-cut “yes” or “no” answer to the question of whether the birth control pill influences partner choice. Studies suggest that hormonal contraception may be linked to changes in olfactory perception, assessments of attractiveness, and relationship experiences. At the same time, these effects vary from person to person, and the research on this topic is inconclusive. Therefore, it’s not possible to derive a simple rule that applies to every relationship.
What Studies Show
- Some studies have shown that hormonal birth control can influence the perception of body odor and attractiveness.
- There is also evidence that preferences may differ while taking the pill compared to those during the natural cycle.
- Some studies have found associations between starting or stopping hormonal contraception and changes in sexual satisfaction or perceptions of one’s partner.
What Remains Unclear
- So the pill doesn’t “decide” who you find attractive or whether a relationship will work out.
- Not every woman notices changes in attraction, desire, or in her relationship.
- Many studies show various correlations, but no simple cause-and-effect explanation for everyday life.
- The choice of a partner is influenced by many factors: personality, experience, and stage of life, as well as communication, sexuality, and physical well-being.
What You Can Take Away From This
- However, if you notice changes in your sex drive, sense of smell, or need for intimacy after stopping the pill, that’s not unusual.
- Changes like these don’t automatically mean that there’s something wrong with you or your relationship.
- It’s helpful to, to consciously observe your body over several cycles, rather than immediately judging individual feelings.
- If changes are causing you a lot of stress, you should talk to your gynecologist.
In short: The research is fascinating, but not conclusive. The pill can influence certain perceptions and preferences—but it doesn’t single-handedly determine your choice of partner or the quality of your relationship.
Partner choice: aesthetic preferences under the influence of the pill
Hormones also affect visual preferences.
With the pill many women tend to prefer caring, reliable partners with softer facial features. These men are considered more stable and faithful.
Without the pill, especially on fertile days, more angular features and deeper voices tend to be more attractive. They are associated with masculinity and good genes – but also with a lower likelihood of fidelity. Roberts (2011) showed: women who take the pill place less value on their partner’s looks and more often report having less desire for sex or enjoying it less.
Libido and sexual satisfaction
According to studies, women who met their partner while taking the pill often feel less sexually attracted and report lower satisfaction (Russell 2014). At the same time, they particularly value, for example, their partner’s greater fidelity and financial security – which can lead to more stable relationships. But the downside: loss of libido is one of the most common side effects of the pill. And less desire can put a significant strain on a relationship. You can read tips on how to get your libido going again right here:
How your attractiveness changes across the cycle
The pill ‘smooths out the cycle, so to speak’ and suppresses ovulation – but that also removes the hormonal fluctuations that influence our attractiveness. Research shows: men find women most attractive around ovulation. Subtle changes – for example, softer-looking skin, brighter eyes, dilated pupils and a more alluring body scent – unconsciously send fertile signals (Miller and Maner 2010). With the pill, however, these signals disappear completely. For some researchers, this is a clear “competitive disadvantage” compared with women who use hormone-free contraception. You can learn more about the power of ovulation here:
Am I a different person on the pill?
Hormones don’t just influence our choice of partner – they also influence our behavior.
In a natural cycle, hormones such as progesterone and testosterone can increase self-confidence, a sense of adventure and courage. When the cycle is suppressed by the pill, women may seem more anxious, more clingy or less energetic. Some even describe it as if they had a different personality on the pill. All of this is possible, but it doesn’t necessarily apply to every woman who uses the pill for contraception.
What happens after stopping the pill?
After years of use, many women experience noticeable changes when stopping the pill:
- Libido returns.
- Energy and motivation increase.
- The cycle shows natural fluctuations again – sometimes you’re full of energy, sometimes you need rest.
- But the relationship can also be put to the test: some women suddenly feel less close to their partner or find him less attractive.
These changes can lead to insecurity, but also to a new sense of vitality. Some relationships fall apart, others experience a new upswing. One thing is clear: stopping the pill can fundamentally change the “chemistry” in a partnership.
Stopping the pill and understanding your cycle: what you can take away for yourself and your relationship
The pill doesn’t just affect ovulation – it can also change our “type”, our attractiveness and the dynamics in our relationships. Whether this is experienced as positive or negative depends heavily on the individual. What matters is being aware of these effects: your sense of attractiveness and closeness isn’t just in your head – it’s also biochemistry. After stopping the pill, it can be helpful to consciously observe the changes you experience – and to talk openly about them with your partner.
If you want to understand your natural cycle better, OvulaRing offers an ideal way to recognize changes in your fertility, libido and energy. This helps you get in tune with your body and feel more clearly what you really need – completely independent of hormonal exposure.
Frequently Asked Questions About the Birth Control Pill and Choosing a Partner (FAQ)
Research on the birth control pill and partner choice is fascinating, but the findings are not conclusive. That’s why we’ve briefly and carefully summarized the most important questions here.
Can the birth control pill influence a person’s choice of partner?
Studies suggest that hormonal birth control may be linked to changes in olfactory perception, attractiveness ratings, and sexual attraction. However, the pill alone does not determine who you love or whether a relationship works out.
Why does smell play a role in mate selection?
Body odor can subconsciously influence how attractive we find someone. Some studies are examining the connection between body odor, HLA molecules, and genetic diversity. This perception of odor may change when using hormonal birth control.
Can a relationship change after stopping the pill?
Yes, some women report changes in their libido, intimacy, energy levels, mood, or perception of their partner after stopping the pill. But that doesn’t automatically mean there’s something wrong with you or your relationship. Such changes can vary greatly from person to person.
What can I do if I notice changes after weaning?
It’s helpful to consciously observe your body over several cycles and not jump to conclusions about any changes right away. If changes in your libido, mood, intimacy, or relationship are causing you significant distress, you should talk to your gynecologist about it.
Does the pill determine whether a relationship works out?
No. The quality of a relationship depends on many factors: personality, experience, stage of life, communication, sexuality, trust, and physical well-being. The pill can influence certain perceptions, but it does not solely determine your choice of partner or your relationship.
References
Bucher B. 2016. Can fertility be read from the face? Online magazine of the University of Bern. https://www.uniaktuell.unibe.ch/2016/ist_fruchtbarkeit_aus_dem_gesicht_ablesbar/index_ger.html
Kainberger E. 2025. How the pill changes relationships. 2025. https://campus-a.at/2025/06/02/wie-die-pille-beziehungen-verandert/
Miller SL and Maner JK. 2010. Scent of a woman: Men’s testosterone responses to olfactory ovulation cues. Psychological Science, 21(2), 276–283. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797609357733
Roberts S. Craig et al. 2008. MHC-correlated odour preferences in humans and the use of oral contraceptives. R. Soc. B.2752715–2722. https://doi.org/10.1098/rspb.2008.0825
Roberts S. Craig et al. 2011. Relationship satisfaction and outcome in women who meet their partner while using oral contraception. In: Proceedings of the Royal Society B. DOI: 10.1098/rspb.2011.1647
Russel VM et al. 2014. The association between discontinuing hormonal contraceptives and wives’ marital satisfaction depends on husbands’ facial attractiveness, Proc. Natl. Acad. Sci. U.S.A. 111 (48) 17081-17086,https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1414784111
pharmazeutische-zeitung.de. 2011. The pill helps you find a faithful partner. https://www.pharmazeutische-zeitung.de/2011-10/die-pille-hilft-treuen-partner-zu-finden/
spiegel.de. 2008. The pill makes women fall for the wrong men. https://www.spiegel.de/wissenschaft/mensch/geruchsempfinden-pille-laesst-frauen-auf-falsche-maenner-fliegen-a-571641.html
